Like Little Kittens - edited

The girls have been sharing a room for 3 weeks, now, and despite Rusty's concerns about bickering, it has been the greatest thing we have done for our family. (Just like I told him it would be!).

This evening when we went in for tuck ins, the two of them were sitting side by side on their cozy love seat, listening to an Adventure In Odyssey c.d., and playing their Nintendo DS games. Each was doing her own thing, but they were together.

Earlier today, when they were supposed to be folding their laundry, I found them nestled under the down comforter as Cailin read Cassidy a story.

Finally, just now, as we checked on our sleeping girls before we turned in for the night, we found the two of them (and the dog!) asleep in Cassidy's bed, snuggled together like two little kittens.

What a gift we have given them in each other. Thank You God for those precious little lives.
EDITED: I had to laugh when I was awakened to Cassidy wailing, "Mooom! Cailin is being mean and took my covers and won't let me get back to sleep!". Still sweet... but normal sisters!

Happy Valentine's day!

I don't like chocolate, I love flowers but would prefer a fresh hydrangea bush to a dozen roses, and eating out is a staple of our on the go life, not necessarily a treat. So what is a guy to do for Valentine's Day?

Sweet tea waiting for me on my nightstand every morning would be nice...

Oh, and a wake up call from my big guy, while he's at the gym, so I don't have to wake up to an alarm clock's annoying buzz. (I may ask for a snooze or two, requiring return phone calls.)...

Heated towels when I finish my shower would work for me...

I really don't like making big breakfasts, so having those on the weekends would be great...

A foot massage with peppermint lotion after a long day at work would be a wonderful gift...

I frequently decide to paint (or re-paint) but I'm just not crazy about paint fumes, and all that reaching... a cheerful painter would be SUPER....

A husband who adores his family, and puts us before anything else in his life would be something every woman would love to have...

Hmmm, since Rusty gives me all this and more, I think all I want for Valentine's Day is to see my sweet husband and tell him how thankful I am that he is mine.

It's the Simple Things

Things that are making me happy tonight...

• Freshly laundered sheets and my down comforter turned down invitingly.
• The giggles of sisters chasing each other through the house. The silence of a house full of sickness was deafening.
• Knowing that tomorrow we all go back to our normal schedules.
• The warmth of a fireplace on a cold and icy night.
• Being able to actually find things in my recently straightened pantry, and not having canned goods fall on me when I open the door.
• The sweet scent of my girls' hair after a restorative, hot soak in the bubbles.
• Tussin with codeine cough syrup guaranteeing me a sound night's sleep.
• Stink Doggy- Dog has an appointment with the groomer tomorrow.
• A good book on my nightstand with only a few chapters left to enjoy. (Debbie Macomber's "Back on Blossom Street")

After having our routine and household turned upside down by sickness, I am truly thanking God for the blessing of a life full of normalcy.

Life is good.

I'm Baa-ck... Sorta

I have been on a break. Not planned. Just the result of life happening.


Loads of work stress. The kind that made me seriously consider quitting, despite the fact that it would mean giving up luxuries like food and electricity. Stress that consumed me night and day. The lack of sleep led to sickness. After one whole week of coughing and sleepless nights I devoted two hours to urgent care, where I was given the blessed Z-pack of antibiotics.


On Thursday Cassidy came home from school feeling rough, and by bedtime had a fever. The next day her fever was 103.5 and she tested positive for the flu- woohoo! Tamiflu for her, and lysoling of every surface.


Cailin has vacillated between feeling fine, playing outside with her friends, and feeling awful, hanging out with mommy on the sofa. Today she received her own prescrition of tamiflu, and will be spending another day home from school with Mommy.

Rusty even agreed to a visit to urgent care, and admits he's glad I insisted he go! Considering how horrendous he felt with the precious tamiflu (yes, that is 3 prescriptions in one weekend for the mighty flu fighting medicine), he can't even imagine how much worse without.

I finally conceded defeat and spent all of Sunday catching up with my new best friends, Jon and Kate Plus 8. I have wanted to see that show for awhile, and yesterdays marathon provided the perfect entertainment for me from 2-8. Pathetic, hm? I rarely give in to sickness, but this time I have embraced it and allowed myself to wallow in sleep and reality t.v. Boredom is getting the best of me, and if I don't get back on track I will get behind in my work again, and start the vicious cylce all over- ugh!

So tomorrow, while Cailin rests in her room, I will be back to work, and when I am caught up, back to blogging.

I can't wait!

The White Stuff

Finally! After a schizophrenic winter of temperatures varying wildly from 70 degrees one day to 30 degrees the next, it appears that winter has truly arrived. I am sitting at my desk watching jumbo snowflakes tumble from the sky and cover the ugly dead grass. What a beautiful sight!

I guess the girls inside out jammies, ice cube flushing, and frozen spoons under the pillows worked! Their wish came true, and it looks like we might have some hot cocoa and chili in our future. Yum! "Cause it's really all about the food!

Taken Care Of

Whew! I managed to record all the debit transactions from the last 3 weeks (and it may or may not have been slightly more than the 20+ I had estimated!), clean out the two purses I had been juggling in December, and order my 2008 planner. I made the beds, picked up the surface clutter of the house, and washed a few more loads of laundry.

The laundry that had been waiting to be put away has diminished simply because we began wearing things from the baskets, and so they have now made their way on to the dirty laundry pile. Progress? Sure! At least they have moved from the top of the Christmas present pile to a more laundry appropriate setting.

Yesterday I began taking down the trees and piling the multitude of ornaments on the sofa, awaiting proper storage in their original boxes. Oh, I hate that job! I am a "big picture" type of person. I like to envision the beauty of Christmas, but I'm not so great with the details, like putting things in the correct boxes. A character flaw, admittedly, but it is a weakness that I am well aware of. Deciding to face my pathetic excuse for a work ethic head on, I pushed through the challenge and managed to completely dis-assemble the dining room tree. Feeling new strength from this success, I determined to finish the other, dreaded family room ornaments this afternoon.

God, in His infinite wisdom blessed me with a husband who dots the "i" in detail, and with the energy level of the energizer bunny. Rusty, bless that man's heart, managed to put all the ornaments in their tiny little boxes, and banished all remaining evidence of Christmas to the basement storage room, while I took Cassidy to a birthday party. I came home armed with a large diet coke from Sonic, ready to face my most dreaded job, and found it already done for me, by the one who had already done far too much of the putting away. I didn't ask, or even hint for him to do it. He voluntarily did it because he knew how much I dislike that task, and he wanted to help me out. Wow! What a gift.

I am so grateful that my heavenly Father also sees fit to step in and save me from myself, when I am in over my head. I'm so thankful that He sent Jesus, the One Who had already done far too much, to do even more by dying on the cross... for me. I am overwhelmed by His grace in my life, that allows Him to finish those "tasks" I start, but don't have the strength to complete on my own. I am so thankful that He only asks me to trust Him with my struggles, and that He is able and willing to fulfill His glory in my life.

I am so glad that I can rest in the shadow of His magnificence, and know that all is well.

Rest Amidst The Mess

My house is a mess.

I still have two fully decorated Christmas trees to dis-assemble and return to the basement storage room. Between the girls bedrooms lumbers a ginormous tub holding Christmas presents which need to somehow squeeze their way into already full toy bins. The laundry room floor is covered in clothes needing washed, and baskets filled with clean clothes to be folded are perched precariously on top of the tub of Christmas toys.

My bed is unmade, and the dog could benefit from a bath. I have 20+ debit transactions to record before my husband tackles the checkbook tonight, and I just had a call from Wal*Mart letting me know they found my purse. What? I didn't even know it was missing! How embarrassing! I forgot to order my new 2008 planner until yesterday, so I am pretending it is January 10, 2007 and scribbling over last years notes.

The fact that I am calm and not stressed out means one of two things: either I am having some type of clutter denial break down , or (and I think it is this one) I am finally learning to trust that all earthly things are temporal, and my treasure is stored up for me, neat and orderly, in Heaven. God's grace is sufficient for each day, even the ones that are a little topsy turvy because of my own human frailties. Instead of rushing around worrying, I need to rest in the knowledge that He goes ahead of me, and makes the way for me to accomplish whatever is needed of me.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord fights for you; you need only be still.

Hebrews 4:10 For he who has once entered God's rest also has ceased from the weariness and pain of human labors, just as God rested from those labors peculiarly His own.

Back In The Saddle

Even though the girls return to school Monday, vacation ended officially for me today as we ventured out of our cocoon for a day filled with girls' activities. After a late night out at bunco with my girlfriends, I had to drag myself out of bed at 6:15 to iron and pack up the girls horse show attire. Typically I would not leave this task until the morning of the show, but I take vacation to heart, and I couldn't muster the energy to prepare until the last possible moment. Shockingly we made it to the barn on time, and with a minimum of threats, to boot! The girls had a fabulous day and didn't even complain about the arctic temperatures, although they probably didn't feel them since they weren't still for the entire 6 hours that I stood shivering on the "sidelines". (OK, I realize it couldn't technically be called a sideline since it isn't a sports field, but really, what else should I call it? It's really more a metaphor for this stage of my life, perpetually standing on some "sideline" watching someone perform or practice something!).

Anyway, they had loads of fun, we took loads of pictures, and the girls managed to bring home their first ribbons. I managed to even squeeze in some catching up with mommy friends, as we coerced our husbands to make a starbucks run.



We made it home in time for Daddy to catch the last half of the Redskins game and some wardrobe changes before heading out to Cailin's Winter Voice Recital. Finally around 9:00 we made it home and are camped out watching movies. Whew! I guess we are really back in the saddle of this crazy ride we call our life!

Happy Inventors

So much to say and so many fun pictures of our time in the mountains, but that will have to be for another day, as I am trying to get some work done while the girls are still on their Christmas holiday.

They are absolutely delighting my spirit as they are working together in the basement, playing "inventors". They surfaced for a quick search of the house for magazines, glue, poster board, safety pins and paper clips, then quickly returned to their "studio" for some inventing. Oh, I can't even describe the pure joy that fills my heart to hear them working together (mostly- there was some debate about one c0-captain wielding a little more power than the other!) and creating. I am eager to see their inventions, especially with the recent additions of glue and glitter paint!

Hope your heart is full of peaceful joy. Mine sure is.

Christmas at the Cabin "Happies"

One of my favorite bloggers coined the term "happies" (if I knew how to link to her, I would, but in the interest of full disclosure, it is Sarah at In The Midst Of It), which I think is the best word to describe those moments in life when your heart is full and you are relishing the blessing of your life. So here are my Christmas in the mountain "happies"..

• Arriving and knowing Nana and Papa are already there, and have a Charley Brown tree waiting to be decorated.


• The squeals of the girls as they greet Nana and Papa, even though they just saw them the day before as the truck was loaded with all our goodies.


• The peace that fills my soul as we step outside and hear the stream rushing by, and nothing else.


• The fun tradition of Mom and I driving 30 miles to the nearest Wal*Mart to stock up on groceries for the week.


• Everyone wearing jammies round the clock... once even in a rush trip to the emergency room!


• Time spent sitting by the fire reading, napping, and playing games as a family.


• Wrapping gifts by the fire and watching It's a Wonderful Life, on Christmas Eve.


• Spending Christmas Eve with Rusty in a small town, buying stocking stuffers and having lunch together while the girls build a gingerbread house and string popcorn and cranberry garland with Nana and Papa.


• Taking the girls to see the live nativity.


• Hiking in the mountains and sleigh riding in the snow.


• Having nothing to do except enjoy time together as a family, remembering what a gift God gave us in His Son, and rejoicing in the blessing of our life in Him.

The Best Shot of the Bunch

This is our Christmas card picture. I planned on doing a family photo at a real live studio, but the combination of Daddy rarely being home in the evening, and Mommy's roots being 4 inches long led me to include only the cutest members of our family. After arguing about jewelry and hairstyles, and breaking a sweat because bedtime had long since come and gone, I managed to snap this photo, which I actually love because of their bright smiles. The dog, in a chokehold, regrets ever being a part of the process and is plotting her revenge, I can see it in her eyes.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas From Our Home To Yours!

Thanks BooMama for hosting our Christmas tour of homes!

Last year I peeked in the "windows" of everyone else doing the Christmas bloggy tour, but this year I am so excited to join in! Come on in and see some of my favorite areas of our home.

Welcome to our home! This is the little stretchable

snowman who greets you.

If the girls have been here he is much taller,

as they love to pull him out to his full height.

Part of Daddy's miniature village,

and this is his favorite piece... reminds him of the cabin where we spend Christmas.

I love the poinsettia because Rusty's students grew

them for him to give the teachers as gifts. My

Dad always brought poinsettias home for my Mom

and me, and I love that Rusty is continuing that tradition

with our girls.

The Santa Room where we hang

the stockings... we use the fireplace

too often to hang them on the mantel!

This hangs on the french door in the breakfast room.
My favorite Christmas decoration.

Seeing these vintage ornaments by the fireplace

always makes me happy.

I just love this little corner with my favorite rooster.
Dining Room Christmas Tree. I love this tree because it holds all the "pretty" ornaments I bought as a newlywed craving a "picture perfect" tree. Now my favorite tree is the one in the living room that holds all the sentimental ornaments. But this one still holds a special place in my heart.
Garland on the stairs. I've done this as long as we've lived in this house, and every year say I am changing it, but here it is again!
A few of Daddy's santas on display. The girls decorated this room completely by themselves this year, hallelujah! I am hoping this is a trend that will spread throughout the house next year!
I give Rusty one of these Santa's each year. I love that I received my Papa's Bible after he passed away a few years ago, and keep it on display year round as a reminder of what our family is grounded in. I miss Papa, but seeing his Bible thrills my heart, and he always loved Christmas, so it seems appropriate that the Santas are with it for awhile each year.

Thie dining room with ornaments hanging from the chandelier. The table is missing some decorations, because I had cleared the table for a buffet Friday night...
A closeup of the dining room tree... I love the lights shining through the glass ornaments.
The leftovers from making this...
Love making the gingerbread house. Not so much fun cleaning royal icing off every surface of my kitchen. Love eating the leftover candy.

The tree in our family room that holds 21 years of treasured memories. I turn the lights on when I wake up, and turn them off when I go to bed, enjoying every minute I can. Sitting by the fireplace and doing my Bible study with the tree on is one of my favorite things in life.

The most important decoration in our home... the one that shows what we are really celebrating. We add to this collection each year, and the girls love to move the pieces around. I was thrilled to see how they have arranged every figurine and animal to be focused on the sweet, baby Jesus.

Hope that is where your focus is as well, this blessed season.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for stopping by!

Little Bit

My little Cassidy turned nine last month. Despite all the celebrations, I haven't posted about it because I really didn't want to think about it. I mean, we didn't ignore the birthday... oh, no! We had a family party, and she awoke to a room filled by the balloon fairy, and enjoyed having 13 of her closest friends at the barn for a riding party the following Saturday. Mama doesn't ever miss an excuse for a party!

I happily celebrated with her, but as far as dwelling on her age, I have been in denial! Cassidy is my baby, my little angel, and the thought that this is her last birthday in the single digits tears at my heart. With every year, I have to accept the reality that I am working myself out of a job, and 9 is halfway to college, to this mommy's way of thinking. But time marches on, and I have slowly accepted this milestone birthday (ok, work with me here, they are honestly ALL milestones to me- I have issues, I know!) and want to record some of my thoughts about our little Cassidoodle.

Rather than ramble on, worrying about sentence structure (ahem), I want to list some of my favorite things and memories about this girl... this child who has grown so much this past year. Wow. Being 8 was big.

1. My first memory of her is of the midwife handing this writhing, screeching little bundle of energy into my arms, and holding her tight, trying to believe that this little girl is mine. She was like a coiled bundle of muscles and energy, and reached for me with the longest, most beautiful hands. I will never forget that moment- staring into the bluest eyes, which held the most serious and inquisitive expression as she stared me down. She owned me at that moment, and I knew she would be a force to be reckoned with.

2. As I would rock her for bedtime she would throw that little head back, and with her gummy little smile would giggle and taunt me, until I, too was luaghing. This would make her laugh even harder, and I couldn't resist kissing her under her chin, wiling to do anything to hear that captivating and magical laughter that bubbled forth from her. She kept her eyes locked on mine, and it felt as if she could see straight into my soul. Oh, how I loved those moments!

3. My strong willed little girl, battling it out with me over naptime or quiet time. Ohmy. That's all there is to say about that. I'm thankful we survived that era relatively scar free, and hope flashbacks won't send her into therapy at an early age.

4. My little blond pixie dust, as she shyly tries to hide a smile, holds her tongue in her cheek and peeks under those lashes with a sidelong glance to see ifyou notice. Usually her good humour gets the best of her and her face lights up like sunshine, with the smile she can no longer hide. Her smiles are truly a burst of joy straight from the hand of God, as she conquers her fear and allows her joy to shine forth.

5.I am so proud of this little thing, who has faced so much at such a young age. She developed severe eczema (and allergies) at 8 months of age, and until she was seven would awaken most days with her legs and sheets covered in blood, from the incessant scratching in the night. She endured painful ointments several times daily, and took 3-4 oral medications twice a day. She endured questions and stares from strangers as they noticed her precious tender skin, marked with painful wounds and scars. For a shy child it was literally torturous. She couldn't look people on the eye, couldn't even lift her eyes from the ground. But praise God, trusting God for her healing, we prayed and refused to give into the fear and frustration that threatened, many times, to overwhelm us. She has been off medication and symptom free for 2 years.

6. Cassidy has the best sense of humour of anyone I have ever known. She is funny without even trying to be. She has a dry wit, and sees humour in things beyond her age. I call Nana at least once, daily, to report the "Cassidy-ism" of the day. Now when we laugh she sighs, "Are you calling Nana?!"

7. Cassidy loves passionately and feels deeply. Her hugs are rarer than I would like, and when given are a cherished gift... they aren't given lightly. When she opens herself up to you, she gives all of herself, and loves with everything in her. It is worth the wait to receive her love!

8. I love the notes Little Bit (I called her a little bit of nothin' when she was born because she was so tiny!) leaves on my pillow at the end of the day. Notes telling me she is sorry for misbehaviors, or asking for a special time with me the next day, sometimes tied to a packet of candy from her halloween stash. Oh, I treasure those notes!

9. Cassidoodle has always been such an indepndent child and can occupy herself for hours on end. When home with me while I was working, she would sit and play at the dollhouses in my office endlessly, occassionally stopping by for a snuggle. When she would tire of that she would get out her paper, scissors, tape and staples and create purses and countless other designs. Her diligence and creativity combine to bless her with many gifts.

10. Cassidoodle, I love you! Seeing you grow into the person you were meant to be is a joy, and a gift I am so grateful to God for bestowing on me. Thanks for being my girl!

Can't Wait to See The Blessing

My baby has a hurting heart and there is nothing I can do to fix it. She just found out that her best friend is attending another school next year.

Next year is a bad year to not have your best friend. Next year is middle school. Next year is the time when the kids change classes and have more freedom with their uniform, and a time she was looking forward to sharing with Isabella. Now she knows that won't be the case, and instead of eagerly anticipating the fun times ahead, she can only think about walking alone, missing her giggling companion of the past 4 years.

Cailin is a bubbly, fun-loving girl. As the firstborn she is strongwilled, outspoken, and sure of who she is. She is very much a typical 10 year old, but blessed also with an innocence and naivete towards the more wordly things many other girls are already dwelling on. I have been so grateful for this friendship with a like minded, ornery and age appropriate friend. Whenever they are together there is constant laughter. They don't put on airs and try to act sophisticated, nor do they form cliques and try to exclude. They are a delight to be around, and true blue, stick together, loyal friends. Friends like this are a rare treasure, knowledge Cailin gained at an early age when other "friends" showed their true colors. Isabella was an answer to prayer, and so now, it is heartbreaking to think of them going through middle school separately.

I know that Cailin has lots of other friends and will survive. She will still see Is on the weekends at church, and at their riding lessons and field hockey. Their friendship will continue and grow, of that I am sure. But I understand Cailin's sadness at the loss of the familiar, the expected, the sure thing of having Izzy with her at school. I know the fear of being lonely, of having noone around who really understands you, of seeing other best friends together on the playground and feeling totally, all, alone.

I understand these concerns, and they hurt my heart as well. Yet my job as her Mommy is to guide her and prepare her for many more hurts to follow. So I explained to her that I understand, and I shared my own experience of having a best friend one year younger and having to go to junior high alone, similarly to her. I shared how I met other friends, and yet how Stacy and I , 25 years later, still remain like sisters. It was different, yes, but still good. I also told her that God does nothing that is not for our good, and He promises to work all things (for those who are righteous) for good.

He will bless her abundantly, beyond our wildest imaginings, if we just trust and obey. We will praise Him in all things, knowing He has great things planned for Cailin. So I am believing that this sad, sad news, news that sent my girl crying into my arms, will become a legacy of God's great mercy on her life. A story she can share with her daughter someday, when her heart is breaking, and she feels like there is nothing she can do. She can return to her Rock, and she can trust that as He provided for her, He will be true to provide for the one she loves.

He is the one, true, friend, the One who sticks closer than a brother... and so I pray that he shows Himself on her behalf; uplifting and encouraging and making her way blessed.

Christmas in The Big Woods

8 years ago we decided to "take back" Christmas for our family.


Prior to this year , we would travel 7 hours to our hometown to celebrate with our extended family; but that year,with two children under the age of two, it was a less than appealing proposition. I had spent the previous Christmas season with a newborn and 17 month old needing as much of mommy as possible, and squeezed shopping into late night trips after one was sleeping, and while the other was between feedings. I would race home for the 11:00 nursing, and then collapse, fighting colds and exhaustion, and regretful of the time away from my family, yet truly there was no other option; or so we thought.


My minds' eye held an image of the perfect Christmas, and mommy was at the center of every image... decking the halls, baking homemade treats for the neighbors, selecting the perfect gifts and having them beautifully wrapped and under the tree, and in the midst of this imparting the true meaning of Jesus' birth to my little ones...

Instead my house was a mess, I wasted time searching for gifts for people who were already blessed with all the necessities of life, and neglected to enjoy the gift of time as a family, celebrating this most wondrous time of year. Rusty had just finished football season, and with wrestling season already underway, Christmas was a short reprive for our little family; the only opportunity for us to snuggle in and enjoy one another before late night practices and weekend tournaments separated us again. We dreaded the hours spent in the car, and the endless rounds of gift exchanges. We love our extended family, and wanted to see them, but the rest of the holiday pressure was squeezing the joy out of this season.

I will forever be grateful to my husband for reclaiming Christmas for our family, and insisting that we celebrate as we believed, not as the world told us we should. We found a cabin in the woods, invited my parents to join us, packed the car with gifts and decorations; and we've never looked back!

So as we head off for our 9th "Christmas in the Big Woods" it is with hearts full of gratitude for time to be spent together, remembering that we are God's reason for this season. His love for us spurred Him to sacrifice the Perfect Gift, in exchange for us. What a wonderful God we serve, and celebrate.

Merry Christmas!

I Hit The Wall.

37 will be known as the year that I hit the wall.

For some unknown reason, I am different, and I think I like the new me. I am less likely to fret and stew over things, and more inclined to deal with them directly. I feel less obligation to withhold my true feelings, and am better able to say "no", to those things that require more of me than I have to offer, and enjoy more, those things to which I happily say "yes!".

I don't feel as obligated to be a one man band of entertainment for my daughters, and am less concerned that I am scarring them emotionally for life when they are unhappy with my expectations. I have a better awareness of what my job is as their mother, and what God really desires of me.

I realize more of who I truly am, and what inspires me, each and every day. I am less interested in what friends and acquaintances are doing, and more content to enjoy my home and the plans I have for the family within it.

I am more at peace with myself, and as a result, more at peace with those around me. This, however, is in stark contrast to the upset reigning simultaneously, as I also am inplementing the disciplines I have always wished for. The "new me" is accepting of the fact that others may be upset around me; that is part of life, and not earth shattering as I previously believed. Everyone is upset occassionally, and it is ok, life does go on.

I am willing to attend my husband's work Christmas party with roots, no manicure, and as of today (the party is tomorrow!), no new outfit. This is relevant because he is the principal, and this is the first time his staff will meet me. I am at peace because I accepted that there was no physical way I could make my hair appointment, and I won't waste energy worrying. It will be ok. This is monumental- this is what made me realize something is different about me!

I am able to accept that sometimes I am just tired and want to sit down and watch HGTV, and I allow myself to do that, even when the Christmas decorations are loitering the living room and entry. Perhaps every evening for a week.

I recognize more of my own faults, and fewer of others. I am more eager to repent, and remain in close fellowship with the Holy Spirit, than to grieve Him by holding tighlty to past hurts and resentments.

I am quieter. I am still full of laughter. I am learning to let go of who I thought I would be, and slowly, very slowly, learning to accept that who I am is ok after all.

You say "tomatoe", and Cassidy says...

After a week of enjoying the tree decorated only with lights (meaning: I had been too lazy to actually "decorate"), the girls and I finally tackled adding the actual ornaments one night last week. This part is always one of the highlights of the Christmas season for me, as we reminisce over the history of each unique ornament, one at a time, before placing them on the tree.

We love Christmas around here, dubbing ourselves the "Griswald's", and coming frighteningly close to living up to that name in many ways!
The fire was burning, candles flickering, and Christmas carols playing softly in the background. The girls were agreeably posing for pictures so we could share these memories with Daddy when he arrived home, and I was feeling downright full of the spirit of Christmas.

As Cassidy was placing her favorite angel ornament on the tree, she said in a reverent voice, "And this is my most posses*ed ornament, Mommy. Is that one your most posses*ed?"

Had I not seen the look of impending giggles about to erupt on her sister's face I might have let it go, and laughed with her daddy later. However, I could see Cailin was not going to let this one get past her, so as she snickered and Cassidy said "What?!" (knowing her sister's giggles are usually directed at her) I asked her if she meant "her most prized possession" or did we need to pray that her ornaments be free of demons"?

Puts a whole new spin on the "spirit of Christmas", doesn't it?

Slept like a baby.

Oh.my.word.

Mix a skating party, real coke, and a 10 year old, and what do you get? A child who can't go to sleep until one o'clock in the morning, and a very tired and bitter mother.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I made the critical error of thinking a little soda wouldn't hurt. I mean, it was a skating party, she was expending incredible amounts of energy breezing past the boys and swinging her blinking, illuminated pacifier as she passed. How much of that caffeinated hype could linger in her system past the drive home, I foolishly asked myself as I allowed her to purchase the coveted drink.

The answer I gave myself was apparently horribly wrong. All the caffeine in that tiny coke cup would course through those veins for the next 4 hours. Four hours of my life that could have been far better spent doing laundry or cleaning, or, oh, I don't know, maybe sleeping! Instead I was reassuring my dramatic and now hyped - up daughter that the 30 mph gusts rattling the wreaths against her windows were not, in fact, ghosts or robbers. Sidenote... between the caffeine, the tacky blinking pacifiers, and the talk of ghosts I am seriously beginning to doubt my mothering skills. I mean it sounds as if I have been swapping parenting tips with Britney Spears, for pete's sake!

Anyway, after much prayer and deep theological discussion about God's protection and the fact that there are no such thing as ghosts, and also, for good measure, a reminder that I was in fact STILL AWAKE and how could anything possibly get past me to her, I conceeded defeat and climbed into her loft bed for a torturous hour of "sleep". When her snores convinced me she was finally out for the count, I staggered back to my own bed where I was happy to note that all our nighttime drama had escaped my husband who was sleeping peacefully, unaware that the dog was perched on his head.

Nana's Words of Wisdom

Cassidy turned nine this week, which I will have to post about after surviving tomorrow's party (hot on the heels of 2 Thanksgiving Day feasts and one family party!).

As she opened her gifts Tuesday, and the family watched, I said, "Gosh Cassidy! You sure got a lot of nice presents this year. Do you think we overdid it?".

Nana, without missing a beat, said in all seriousness, "Oh, no. You can't overdo it!".

From My Heart

I opened a journal from last year, and it fell open to the following prayer...

August 26, 2006

Yesterday was the official "first day of school" and it went great!... Both girls have great teachers with great spirits and I am so thankful to You for the blessing of having our children go to FCS. Father God, I cherish my quiet times with You, sitting on the porch with my sweet tea and the birds chirping, noone moving around the neighborhood. But today as I saw the rocker pulled close to mine, I am missing Cailin's presence!

So many mornings, as I have my quiet time, she is bee-bopping around, calling out ideas or "Hey Mom!", and I say, once again, "Sweet baby, please! Mommy loves to be with you, but this is God's time."

Sweet baby girl was with me all summer, just present, even if she was riding her scooter or her bike, and HOW do I miss her company now! I love those little angels... the mere thought of them brings tears to my eyes.

Lord, I want, I need, I crave the stillness. Please help me to cultivate calm through order. Please help me to cultivate diligence and consistency in loving ways. Please fill our home with the peace that passes understanding. And Lord, please remind me to see and grab onto the opportunities to be with the girls.

Let the rocking chair, pulled up close beside mine by a little girl eager to be with her mommy, be a visual reminder of my blessing in having these children. Let it also be a reminder of how I should be with You- eager to pull my chair up close to You, and just be with You.