Thursday, April 02, 2009

Moving On

I've been so focused on making this move happen that I haven't had time to reflect on the magnitude of what we are really doing. At least I haven't thought about it until this morning, when I took the girls to school, walked back into the house, and promptly burst into tears on Rusty's shoulder.

It suddenly all threatened to overwhelm me... leaving friends, not waving to the same dog walkers each morning as we leave for school, no more hot tub or amazing deck, no more bonus room over a garage for the girls to share, saying goodbye to the plants we have lovingly nurtured over the years, saying goodbye to the burial site of my beloved Gizzy... giving up the dreams I had of the girls growing up with the children on our cul de sac... I just sobbed and sobbed, as Rusty comforted me and let me get it all out.

Then, he reminded me of all the wonderful things we are going to... acreage, a beautiful neighborhood with a pond, closer to Mom and Dad, closer to many other friends, an amazing house that we never thought we could afford (ok, it needs some work or we still couldn't!), a deck off our master bedroom where I can do Bible study in solitude, and so much more... Logically I knew all those things, I just needed him to remind me of them and reassure me in my moment of hysteria.

What I love so much about being married to Rusty is that even though this move was my idea, not his, in my moment of weakness and doubt, he didn't join in my fear. Instead he reminded me that this was God's plan, that we sought God all through this, and we can be at peace. He always knows exactly what I need and how to comfort me, so much like my heavenly Father. I am so grateful to God for giving me not only a Christ- like Dad, but a husband as well. So as we move to another house, I am peaceful and excited, knowing it is just a house, and wherever Rusty is... there is my home.

I'm ready to go.