Monday, May 28, 2018

Praise Him

I like words. I like to talk things out, but I also like to process things through writing. So I journal, and I used to occasionally blog. But I realize that when things are too hard and too painful, I go silent. I retreat and isolate. And so, I have been silent for too long.

My journal has months long gaps, and I haven't blogged in years. It is as if time stood still, and in a way it has, as I processed the changes... the losses... and the changes in perspective.  There was a time when I thought I was a Faith Giant, probably would have included my name among the giants of Hebrews. As I cried out to God to "restore my faith" to who I was then, I truly remembered it as a time of great faith and peace. And then I found a journal from those days, and faced the truth that I had already been struggling. I was already a puddle of doubt and fear. I was already on the floor crying out, floundering in emotions and circumstances I hadn't predicted. And so I was encouraged, that God had actually been growing me since then. He has been building my faith and increasing my knowledge of Him... I haven't been missing Him, He has been teaching me through the bumps. And so I am hopeful. He Who began a good work in me will ring it to completion. He doesn't do things half way. This isn't the end of the story... and He truly does have good things for me and my family.

So I am determined to get back to journaling here. To remind myself that He has been good and faithful. That just because the terrain doesn't look like what I expected, doesn't mean He isn't still bringing us to the Promised Land. I am going to write our story, because while I was waiting for it to be all tied up in a perfect bow of testimony, the truth is that the testimony is in Him showing up every single day and carrying us, and blessing us with His love. The testimony is in His daily goodness and the love He has showered on us when all we saw was the rain. I will write because he is worthy to be praised and I will praise Him in every way I can. Not for others to read, but for me to remember the goodness He has shown us in the land of the living.


Wednesday, July 05, 2017

Good Things

Our God has good things for us. He is a good God, and His mercies are new every day.

He inhabits our praise, and He is worthy to be praised.

Monday, February 27, 2017

So this week God has led me so clearly to reminders that His mercy and loving kindness endure forever. Psalm 136... and so many others, have spoken repeatedly of his enduring mercy and loving kindness. And I made note, and have meditated on this knowledge.

So after not being here or writing here for several months, I checked in. Only to see that last February 13th, one year ago, He showed me that same revelation. I am now ministering to myself a year later! Isn't God so good?

Monday, December 12, 2016

God Speaks

Often, when I allow God to lead me through my morning devotions, I will see the same scriptures or words repeated from a variety of sources. When this happens, I know it is God, clearly speaking, and making sure I receive His message. To note these moments without going into so much detail in my journal, I have begun writing God Speaks, in a box. I love reflecting back and piecing together the puzzles of these messages, and seeing the guidance He is sending me. He cares enough to speak to me. I need that reminder.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Sometimes I let my temper get the best of me. I jump to conclusions, break out in a sweat, and blame people (in my mind) for things they may or may not have even done.
In the best scenario I calm down and am never discovered to be a temperamental little brat. Worst case, I open my mouth or text and let accusations fly, feelings be darned and emotions spewing ugliness.
I am always left with a sense of remorse and feeling drained. Anger is not energizing. I realize why I am supposed to give every stray thought to God , and TRUST HIM. However, in the heat of the moment, I most often flail ahead, tripping over my frustration in a clumsy purge of blame , sadness and then messy apology.
How I pray to be more Christ like each day, and to remember the last time I allowed fear- truly always the root of the emotions-to direct my behavior.
Thank God, literally, for grace.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Life is good.
God gave it to us.. He gave His Son, He blessed us before time began.
So no matter what we feel or allow ourselves to think, life is good. Because God is good.
All the time.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

My heart feels like a watermelon tossed from a second story window. Splintered and splashed on the pavement. I ache for it to be restored to that of a firm and glossy green melon, full of hope and beautiful in its pristine form.

I cry out to God in my broken state; eager for His healing touch.