Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Developing a Parenting Plan

Do you ever stop and suddenly look at your children through new eyes? Personally, I find that I spend so much time with my girls encouraging, disciplining, and guiding, that I sometimes forget to step back and evaluate them objectively.

It seems that I tend to view them one of two ways: through adoring, rose-colored lenses, or through overly critical, tired eyes, that are intolerant of anything less than perfection. I have to remind myself to fairly assess who they are becoming, and compare that with where we want them to be. So when I saw the book, "Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World" last week at Lifeway, I couldn't pass it up, but snatched it up before the girls saw the title and began questioning me.

When I saw the endorsement of John Rosemond, I felt confident I would like it, and after opening it up and highlighting one or thirty passages, I knew this was a resource I would definitely be sharing with friends. I am barely into chapter 3, and just had to stop and process what I have read. The author points out that we need to know where we want our children to be headed, and then to have a long term plan for getting there. If we don't , she points out, we are like Alice in "Alice in Wonderland":

In a conversation with the Cheshire Cat, Alice asked, "Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the cat.

"I don't much care where," said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat.

So over the next few days, I'm going to really think about what it is that I want my girls to take with them into their tween years, and what traits we may need to nip in the bud. I want this journey of parenting to be well mapped out, not a random exploration of the wilderness.


Wanda said...

Great plan! The book sounds super!

I have 3 teens and I teach at a high school. I see teens that have absolutely NO moral compass on a daily basis.

It's a challenge to protect your own kids from being just like everybody else.
Only with God's help.....and His mercy can we do it!

Good luck, sister.

Brenda said...

I have been thinking the same things. I heard a few years ago, "You have to know in your mind what an 18 year old fully devoted follower of Jesus LOOKS like."

I had never thought that far! I have some goals for my girls by the age of 12-14 that I really want to see happen and I have to DO something to make them happen!

Penless Thoughts said...

Sounds like a great resource. I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job.

Sniz said...

Wow, that book sounds awesome. Are you going to continue to share gems of wisdom from it? I know exactly what you are saying. Selfishness is one of the hardest things to fight in this culture of plenty. I am constantly working with my kids about it too.

Jenny said...

I am so happy you posted about this book! I am definitely going to read it.

The world we live in today screams "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!" I think it is so important to teach our children to think and care for others.

Thank you so much for the book recommendation!