Saturday, August 21, 2010

Topsy Turvy

I feel like I am in a dream in Alice In Wonderland, nothing is as it should be. We aren't going to the Christian school we have attended for 8 years, but instead are going to a public school we never even considered until 2 weeks ago, and I am hearing people say the very things I myself said for years, now in shock and disbelief.

For example, Rusty's high school played our former (as of yesterday!) Christian school tonight. It was surreal. Yesterday Cailin was a cheerleader for that school, and today her team mates were texting her messages of anger at her abandoning them. As we chatted with friends, one of the students said "Jesus loves you" to the public school players, as if this was a foreign concept that only Christian school kids would know. Yuck! Double yuck!  I saw football players scoffing at some of the kids from the other school, in a superior attitude not Christlike at all. My heart hurts at the reality that the utopia I imagined was a farce, an illusion I created to make myself feel I was doing the absolute best I could do for the girls, when in fact, kids are kids everywhere, and unfortunately, many in private schools are elitist Christians- an oxymoron if I ever saw one. I am so ashamed that I may have shared that false pride in their school, so ashamed!

Rusty welcomed the visitors to his (public and rural) school, and even took free popcorn over and passed it out in the stands. I was so proud of him, and felt like a breath of fresh air filled my spirit. He was living his faith instead of talking about it. In that moment I realized, no matter how hard and no matter how alone I may feel, we made the right choice. God is NOT only in Christian schools, but He is most definitely ONLY in Christians, wherever they may be.

Father God, please forgive me for my prejudices and preconceived notions. Cleanse my heart and soul, and bless my girls wherever they go, that they know You are with them and guiding them.


Kim said...

Oh, Kelly I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you! You couldn't be more right ... kids are kids EVERYWHERE. Black-hearted is what I know mine are (me too!). Without the gospel changing them from the inside out it does not matter where they go to school
and the facade of the "Christian" banner is all too often a false sense of security.

Praying for you and your precious girls as they embark on this journey. No matter what, the Lord does as He pleases and His provision is perfect! Trust in Him with those babies :)

Amanda said...

I just now saw this and I just want to give you a big hug. I am so proud of you and Rusty and for the example you are setting for the girls. They will respond how you respond and it sounds like you are responding how a CHRISTIAN should. It's sad because the other kids from the other school probably reflect their parents ideas and opinions and don't even know their own.

I know this was not where we thought God was taking you but I love that you are sharing the struggle. Kelly, you are teaching these beautiful girls so much about a walk with Christ.

Blessings and prayers to you my friend!