Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Cross Roads

I am so blessed to be their mother.
Am I doing this most important job justice?

I make sure they have all the necessities and shuttle them, gladly, to their many activities.
I make their meals and welcome their friends. I tuck them in and wake them for breakfast.
As we go about our days, I sneak in tidbits of wisdom  regarding friends and life, and pray that it settles into the crevices of their hearts.
Yet this morning, as I look at our time together as a family, I feel that I'm missing something. Something unidentifiable yet critical.
I feel like there are desires God has planted in my heart that I have ignored because of the sacrifice they would require.
I am afraid of rocking the boat, of fighting for something I'm not even 100% certain I should be seeking anyway.
I weigh the "what ifs", and fear making wrong decisions and having to live with the consequences.
I worry about being alone in my beliefs in a situation that desperately cries out for unity.
I am seeking, but I'm not brave enough to take the first step.
My greatest fear is missing the opportunity and blessing because of indecision.
My faith is tested. 

2 comments:

Kate @ The Gaines Gang said...

Stay strong and listin...Looks like He is trying to talk to you. Remeber He will never ask more than He already knows you can do!

Amanda said...

Praying for you and excited to see what God does! Your heart is already there and the rest HE WILL DO. I promise!