I can't believe my baby girl is 10 years old. I am such a sap that the night before her birthday I was teary eyed and weepy, realizing that the next time I saw her she would be "10", and she just said, "Mom. You are so weird."
I put off writing about it until today, because frankly yesterday I just couldn't even think about it. Now that the big day has come and gone, I feel up to addressing it, but instead of pouring out my heart, I think I'll do a top 10 list.
Top 10 Favorite Things About Cailin (Honestly there are so many that I could re-write this list a thousand times, but here goes...)
1. The expression on her face the first time I held her. I will always remember those dark eyes staring up at me as if memorizing my face. She was so serious, and would only look at me with one eye open at a time, as if adjusting to life out of the womb gradually. We called her Popeye:-)
2. Her skinny little legs, always kicking, and that tiny little peanut bottom that newborns have. I just couldn't believe how perfect and miniature everything was- even her goosebumps were teeny tiny.
3. Cailin has always awakened with a smile. As soon as her eyes were open she was beaming up at me- eager to face the day. Those long eye lashes and her sweet smile- what a blessing to awaken to! I still linger over her sleeping face before I wake her each morning, trying to soak up the sweetness of sleep.
4. That giggle!!! She is always ready for a laugh, and was such a good natured baby! It is only in the last few months that she has become occassionally sensitive to laughter that might be at her expense. Usually, though, even now she is able to laugh at herself. As a small child I could always get her cooperation through teasing and laughter... what joy she has brought to our home!
5. Hearing her ideas, and boy does she have them!!! I don't know how many times I have heard sentences that start with "Hey Mom! I know what we could do!... or Hey Mom! I have an idea!...." I have always tried to cultivate creativity and thinking in the girls; in her case I may have taken it too far! Actually, I can't even complain because she is able to maintain her objectivity when I tell her "no", or "not today". She is very open to my suggestions, and if I "shoot down" her ideas she usually doesn't fuss or whine, but just comes up with another one!
6. I love seeing her heart develop. She has always been a very tenderhearted little girl who loves to help others. She adores children and animals, and any one who might need her help. She has always been willing to jump in where needed with a cheerful attitude and do what needs to be done. I call her my world changer. She loves God and makes no bones about it. She loves Him, and wants everyone else to, too. One of my most cherished memories is of her walking around the campground singing "This Little Light of Mine" at the top of her lungs. She hoped people would hear her and want to come ask her more about Jesus. I am so proud of her, and so ashamed that I made her hush so she wouldn't disturb others.
7. She is fun; plain and simple. I often refer to her as my good time gal, and love seeing the joy she brings to any situation.
8. The drama of that girl. Oh my, the drama! She sometimes even makes herself laugh at her outlandish antics. One for the books, this year, was when she didn't want to go to school, and threw herself to the floor of the principal's office because the burden of her bookbag was too heavy for her to bear. The pain in her tushy was too much to bear, too, shortly after this tactic:-)
9. The way she must be rubbing your elbow whenever you are within reach of her. She usually isn't even aware that she is doing it, but compulsively rubs your elbow whenever she talks to you. It is this soothing little thing she has done since she was a baby.
10. I love that she is mine. That God found me worthy, in some small way, to raise His precious child. I didn't deserve her, but like so much in life, God looked beyond my deserving into grace and blessed me anyway. She is my joy and my love. I adore her with a passion that physically hurts, and brings me to tears at the mere thought of it. My prayer each night of her life is that I would be the Mommy God wanted her to have, and that I would hear His desires for her and be obedient.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl! I love you XOXO