Friday, August 25, 2006

The first day of school.
My sweet baby is heading off to fourth grade at the upper elementary campus of her school- away from the safe cocoon of k-3 she has been sheltered in these past few years. They have prepared her beautifully... she has her wings and is SO ready to fly to the new destination. Eager to meet her new teacher and principal. Eager to see all her friends. Eager to be older and on the "big" campus. It is a whole new experience, dropping her off here. No longer does the teacher come and open the car door, greet her and guide her to her class lined up on the asphalt. Instead we pull up, she opens her own door and hops off into the unknown. My heart was in my stomach as she glanced back to check on me- her own face glowing with anticipation.
But this wasn't just a big step for Cailin... sweet little Cassidy will now catch the bus at this campus, which will take her back to our first haven of education- the lower elementary, the place where I learned to let go- a little. Now I am letting go a lot. She has never ridden a bus... I have always watched as she walked hand in hand with her teacher to join her classmates. Today as we arrive she gets the 'panic look' and says she doesn't want to ride the bus. Thankfully I can say to her that Daddy is here, he is waiting for her, and he will hold her hand and make sure she gets on the right bus. She is ok then, and follows Cailin out into the unknown as I pull away, wondering what is going on that I am missing!
I finally park and see my husband, beaming, as he waves at the windows of the bus. When I join him and try to get her attention she folds her arms and looks the other way. She is embarrassed by us... she is ok! It is ok for us to leave. After I drop Daddy off at his jeep and he heads to work and his own students, I fly to the lower campus and get there just in time to snap pictures of Cassidoodle coming off the bus and independently finding her own class. She did it. Alone. Yay baby! I am so proud of her. As her class files in she pretends she doesn't see me, but I see her sweet bashful smile and know she is proud too.
I huddle with my mommy friends in the parking lot, lingering long after the kids have gone in. We are hesitant to face these first few moments without them... and we rehash the craziness of the first morning in an effort to stay connected to them a little longer. Soon we will drop them off without a second thought and rush headfirst into the business of the day. But today is the first day.
After 4 first days of school plus 2 first days of prechool you would think I could drop them off without crying. You would think wrong.


Who am I? said...

Very beautiful account of your dd's first day of school. It reminds me of an article I might read in a Focus on the Family magazine. I enjoyed it.

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

You said this: "But as I have gradually seen the loss of comfortable friendships and been forced to draw tightly to Him, I have also struggled with cooperating." I want you to know I can so understand where youre coming from. I've had close friends for 10 years, and seem to be in a spot, where we still care, but just arent as close, and I'm wondering if God has made the space, so that He can take it up. He's the friend who never leaves, is ever faithful. The perfect friend!