I thought I would be super sophisticated. (The fact that I prefaced sophisticated with "super" probably shows there was never any danger of that.)
I thought I would be wealthy and a gourmet cook and have a fabulously decorated home, with a roster of famous clients.
I assumed we would entertain weekly and have a circle of friends who would share a tight history and inside jokes.
I think I might have even seen myself as taller and thinner, if I let myselfreally get carried away.
I know I thought I would never lose sleep or worry about my children and their decisions, because they would be blameless, and my only concerns would be the injustices of the world around them.

But God. As in everything, He had so much more. Sometimes what looks like less is a huge gift wrapped up and tied with a bow.

I really am not sophisticated, but I have so much fun! I laugh a lot. Loudly, and at the same time as I am talking. It's a skill my bunco group recognized and taunts me with, this laugh-talking. Throw in some knee slapping and you almost have a cardio work out! I love nothing more than laughter, I think it trumps sophistication every time.

I'm really not wealthy, nor do I have famous clients. I do, however, have a job allowing me to work from home, and clients who are mostly reasonable and likable. Funny how design paled in comparison for my passion once two giggly girls entered my life.

We have whittled that circle of friends, as we have matured and interests have changed. Turns out we don't need such a big circle outside our home, but love the one within desperately. Talk about inside jokes! The ones within our own four walls are our favorites, and often un-shareable!

Turns out my kids aren't as perfect as I expected, and most of the sleep lost has been over their own poor choices (not doing homework is such a bad idea) or worry over my own imperfect parenting. They have had more than their share of worldly yuck, too, but all those concerns have brought me closer to the One who always answers. He has never let us down. He has always been one step ahead.

He is so good. He took the plans of a naive girl, shook them up, and handed, instead, a map to a hidden treasure of a life to dig through for all the days of my life.  My life is a treasure. Turns out I am pretty wealthy, after all.

Everything you hear about teen girls?

Pretty much true.

Which is why I need these sweet pictures to remind me that I really do adore them.

They really are sweet, and they are just temporarily aliens that argue over clothes,

doubt that I have even a fraction of fashion sense,

and sleep until all hours of the day!

I am certain that one day they will leave hot water for their Daddy and I to shower with,

and remember before they shower that they will need towels when finished. (How many times will they call me, dripping wet, needing a towel?!)

 One day soon, they will stop rolling their eyes at my very existence, and rise up and call me blessed.

A girl can hope, at least, right?

A new day, a new week.

Even though I much prefer weekends with all of us home, I have to say I face each Monday with some excitement. I love starting new things, and each week gives us a chance to do things differently. I'm working on menus for better eating for all of us, and a chore list so the girls can help out just a little bit around the house.

Somehow I'm thinking neither of these changes are going to thrill the girls.

overshadowing my joy

In the morning I love to scroll through decorating and family posts of some of my favorite blogs. Before long I am inspired to cook healthfully for my family, do devotions with the girls each day, and redecorate the whole house in a new style. I'm invigorated and encouraged, which is good, and the benefit of so much information readily at our fingertips.

But. Then I find myself take it one step further, and start a downward spiral of "why". Why didn't I do this when my girls were younger, why didn't I do that for our home? Why do we not eat this or shop there? Why am I not as "fill in the blank" as that person, and why don't my children do this and why does my husband do that? Why, why, why?

I completely lose perspective.

The truth is that I have an amazing life, a wonderful husband, and girls who set the sun (as far as I am concerned)!  I have done lots of fun and educational things with my girls, have filled our home with love and laughter, and insist on organic on the days we don't have fast food. Ha!  I have done my best, which means not perfect, but always striving. Sure, I have missed the mark, but we all have, we just don't all advertise it on the internet for everyone to see.

What I see on pinterest or blogs or facebook is what people want us to see. They're sharing the best of their lives, to encourage and inspire. I'm  the one who chose to compare.

So I realize God has shown me something through this. It is good to encourage one another, in all areas of our life. But it is up to us to remember that He gave us each a unique life. We are to walk our own walk, and enjoy our own journey, not look to the left and right to see how our trip stacks up to our neighbor. If we stay our own course, the view is fantastic, it is a voyage planned  just for us by the master travel agent. But if we start to compare, we not only go off course, we lose our joy.

I want the joy. I want to absorb every detail of this wonderful life God has given me. When he says He has given us this day, and we choose life or death in our words, I am going to be intentional in choosing life. Life and life abundant.