A Cross Roads

I am so blessed to be their mother.

Am I doing this most important job justice?

I make sure they have all the necessities and shuttle them, gladly, to their many activities.
I make their meals and welcome their friends. I tuck them in and wake them for breakfast.
As we go about our days, I sneak in tidbits of wisdom  regarding friends and life, and pray that it settles into the crevices of their hearts.
Yet this morning, as I look at our time together as a family, I feel that I'm missing something. Something unidentifiable yet critical.
I feel like there are desires God has planted in my heart that I have ignored because of the sacrifice they would require.
I am afraid of rocking the boat, of fighting for something I'm not even 100% certain I should be seeking anyway.
I weigh the "what ifs", and fear making wrong decisions and having to live with the consequences.
I worry about being alone in my beliefs in a situation that desperately cries out for unity.
I am seeking, but I'm not brave enough to take the first step.
My greatest fear is missing the opportunity and blessing because of indecision.
My faith is tested.