I've been so focused on making this move happen that I haven't had time to reflect on the magnitude of what we are really doing. At least I haven't thought about it until this morning, when I took the girls to school, walked back into the house, and promptly burst into tears on Rusty's shoulder.
It suddenly all threatened to overwhelm me... leaving friends, not waving to the same dog walkers each morning as we leave for school, no more hot tub or amazing deck, no more bonus room over a garage for the girls to share, saying goodbye to the plants we have lovingly nurtured over the years, saying goodbye to the burial site of my beloved Gizzy... giving up the dreams I had of the girls growing up with the children on our cul de sac... I just sobbed and sobbed, as Rusty comforted me and let me get it all out.
Then, he reminded me of all the wonderful things we are going to... acreage, a beautiful neighborhood with a pond, closer to Mom and Dad, closer to many other friends, an amazing house that we never thought we could afford (ok, it needs some work or we still couldn't!), a deck off our master bedroom where I can do Bible study in solitude, and so much more... Logically I knew all those things, I just needed him to remind me of them and reassure me in my moment of hysteria.
What I love so much about being married to Rusty is that even though this move was my idea, not his, in my moment of weakness and doubt, he didn't join in my fear. Instead he reminded me that this was God's plan, that we sought God all through this, and we can be at peace. He always knows exactly what I need and how to comfort me, so much like my heavenly Father. I am so grateful to God for giving me not only a Christ- like Dad, but a husband as well. So as we move to another house, I am peaceful and excited, knowing it is just a house, and wherever Rusty is... there is my home.
I'm ready to go.
3 comments:
Hi Kelly, just stopping by to encourage you in the middle of your move. Any move is overwhelming and when it involves children it can sweep you completely off your feet. Praying it will all go smoothly, and soon your new place will feel like just the right place for you to be.
BTW the color of your comment button is a very pale green, and I almost couldn't find it!
Kelly, congratulations on your move! I remember feeling the same way when we moved last year--although we were in a small house in a crowded neighborhood, and I'd dreamed of moving to the country for years, when we left the house, I cried like a crazy person!
Then we moved into the new house, and I can't believe I was sad to leave! Raccoons, skunks, frogs and all, I'd take my life in this house, on this land, over anyplace else on earth. It's so beautiful to wake up to, and to watch the sunset through the trees, and hear owls at night--I could go on and on. My kids love it here, and I don't think they miss life in their old neighborhood at all.
I hope getting settled goes smoothly for you! And thank you for your sweet comment on my blog today :)
you're killin' me with the light green color. but that's okay.
you poor thing, then I looked at the date and realized you're probably in your new home, getting all settled.
I'll say a prayer that this new house is precious to your family. and yes, our 'home' is whereever our husband is. i love that. :o)
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